yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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