ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Enjoy the penises
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
