Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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