u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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