She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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