So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
