I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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