Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
