His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
