I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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