Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
