My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
