We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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