he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
