Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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