Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Randomize
