You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
