I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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