His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Vodka?
Forever.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
