it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
