haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
