we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
