The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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