who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
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