You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
