I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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