it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize