She is in my trunk
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
