Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
