Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
