Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
