If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
