You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
