i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
