i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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