I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
