your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
