Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There r osticjed everywhere
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
