come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
