I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
