i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
