it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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