hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
