I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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