so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
