the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
