We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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