I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
