The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
