Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Is it because I queefed?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
