maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
