i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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