I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
