i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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