perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
