shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
