addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
