I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
only if we run a train.
done.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
