i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
