Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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