I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
