Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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