dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
