That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
