I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
