these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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