Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
