Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
