would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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