Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
