i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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