marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
