forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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