I'm so fucking centered right now
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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